


Problems and Solutions

by YWBFound



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jared Kleinman Is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sad, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-07 02:44:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14661681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YWBFound/pseuds/YWBFound
Summary: Jared feels alone. He feels like he had a late start to tbe whole mental illness thing. Jared finds his breaking point and his friends have to pick up the pieces he's leaving behind.





	1. Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings  
> Self harm  
> Suicidal thoughts  
> Suicide attempt  
> Underage drinking  
> Self hatred  
> Underage sexual content (kinda?)

Jared had been in love with Evan since middle school. Had he ever shown it? No, but he was never good with expressing his feelings. He knew Evan liked Connor, which is why he regretted taking him to that party.

 

Evan really wanted to go to see Connor. Jared didn't want to go but he could never say no to Evan. So an hour later he was driving them to this party.

 

After a while of drinking, Evan confessed to Connor. An hour later Jared walked into a bedroom and found Evan and Connor. Both naked. Both making the most beautiful noises.

 

Evan and Connor didn't notice Jared in the corner of the small bedroom, so Jared stayed there. He felt disgusting watching this. He felt jealous. He wanted to make Evan make those ungodly sounds. The sight got to be too much for him.

 

Jared

 

Just

 

Bolted.

 

Jared ended up sitting alone outside, the smell of weed filling his nostrils. When Evan finally left the room he told Jared he could go home. He didn't need him there anymore.

 

Evan didn't need him there.

 

Evan didn't need him at all.

 

That was fine. Jared didn't need him. Jared had other friends. He had Alana.

 

But Alana was dating Zoe. And Zoe was always around Evan and Connor. Evan didn't need him anymore, but who else would he hang out with?

 

His friends. His only four friends, didn't need him. They didn't want them. They didn't care.

 

No one cared.

 

Jared was alone.

 

Jared had to pull over while driving home, the white noise in his head driving him crazy. The buzzing soon turned into dull whispers. They don't care about you. You could be dead or alive and it wouldn't matter. Why burden everyone with your presence? Nobody cares about you.

 

Jared got out his razor and put it on his wrist. He slid it down and winced at the pain. He made more and more lines until the noise in his head became bearable enough to drive home. He pulled back out onto the road, blood dripping from his arms as he drove home. He would clean himself up later.

 

Connors car was in the driveway when he arrived home.  **Shit.**  He searched his car for a jacket and wiped his arms on a napkin that he found in his backseat. He locked his car and felt his eyelids start to drop. It had been a long night for him. He entered the house and tried to block out the sounds coming from Evans room. He flopped down on his bed and went to sleep.

 

He woke up around 12pm. He walked into the living room to witness Evan and Connor with their arms around each other. They were watching an episode of friends, but they were obviously more concerned with each other. When Evan spotted Jared he motioned for him to sit on the chair next to the couch.

 

Jared politely declined, turning away when he saw the slight look of disappointment on Evans face. He made himself a sandwich and made his way back to his room. The only thing in his mind was the sounds that his gorgeous best friend made last night. How beautiful he had looked without clothes on.

 

He snapped out of it when his phone buzzed. Alana had told him that she wouldn't make it to study with him tomorrow. Evan, Connor, Zoe, and Alana were going on a double date. Jared felt completely alone.

 

He grabbed his keys and yelled out that he was going somewhere. He pulled out of his driveway and he drove. He drove and he drove until his car came to a stop. He was at the old St. Joseph bridge.

 

He sat at the edge for about 30 minutes before he decided that he needed to call someone. He couldn't do this, but he needed someone to come get him.

 

He called Alana first. No answer.

 

He called Zoe next. No answer.

 

Evan picked up. But it was just a few seconds of static before he hung up.

 

Connor also answered. He told Jared to stop bothering them. He also went on about how he needed to find more friends because he couldn't keep coming to them when he is lonely. Connor sounded irritated and ignored everyone's pleas for him to be nicer. Jared hung up instantly

 

All Jared did was bother them. He couldn't do anything right. He just needed to fucking die already. He needed to stop being a pussy. They didn't care. It would be best. He didn't have anything to live for, so why not go now?

 

The argument in his head lasted around five minutes until he came to his final decision. He texted the group chat two words.

 

**I'm sorry.**


	2. Determination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a loaded ass chapter about Zoe. TW: Rape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guyssss. I suck at updating but now that school is over i can go back to weekly lmao.

Everyone at the table hated themselves

Jared was hurting and they didn't do shit

They made Jared feel like this

They all knew something was up with him.

But none of them did anything. Because he's Jared, the peppy one in their friend group. He was a dick sometimes to them so why not just ignore him?

 

When Evan received the message in their group chat, he knew they messed up. Everyone was looking at each other and immediately they knew what was going on. They immediately put down $50 dollars on their table and left the restaurant.

 

All of them were frantically calling and texting Jared. Well, everyone but Connor. Connor looked like he was in shock. He wasn't moving and he was staring directly at the passenger's seat.

 

“Its my fault. My fault. My fault. My faultmyfaultmyfault” Connor repeated over and over, shaking in his seat.

 

Connor knew he shouldn't have blown up at Jared, but he was ignoring Evan earlier that day so he decided they were going to ignore him. It was such a bad fucking idea. He knew Jared was not doing well and he Fucking dismissed it to hang out with his boyfriend. God, he was such an idiot. He should have talked to him.

 

But here they were. Calling and texting him over and over. Praying even though none of them were religious. Because Jared didn't deserve this. He was the last person who deserved this. He brought a smile to everyone he ever met.

 

Surprisingly, Zoe was the one freaking out the most about this. Him and Zoe always had this special bond. When all of her popular friends decided to ditch her, it was Jared who helped her become friends with them. He was the one who helped her gain the confidence to ask Alana out. He saved her relationship with Connor. But most importantly, he saved her.

 

Flashback

 

At one point in Zoe’s life, she was miserable. She felt as if her girlfriend, her friends, he'll, even her brother, couldn't stand her. She felt completely alone and decided she couldn't do it anymore. She decided she wanted to go get drunk so she could forget everything for the night. She ended up going to a very sketchy party, but what the hell, she didn't care anymore.

 

She didn't know anyone at this party so she just brought a bottle of vodka to the nearest bedroom. Her phone was blowing up, probably her parents. As much as she wanted to answer she just couldn't. She didn't have the energy to do anything but sit here and drink.

 

(TW: RAPE)

 

At some point during her drinking she completely blacked out. She didn't know how long she was out for. Could have been minutes. Could have been hours. When she began to fade back into consciousness she felt this overwhelming feeling of something sitting on her body. When she was able to open her eyes completely she was mortified. A guy was on top of her. Having sex with her. No, not sex. Raping her. She immediately started screaming. He covered her mouth and cooed awful things into her ears.

 

‘No one is gonna hear you scream baby’

‘Calm down bitch, it'll make it go faster’

‘I bet you like it, slut’

‘You feel so good, baby girl’

 

She didn't know how long she lied there silently sobbing. She passed out about a third of the way through. When she woke up again she immediately ran to the bathroom to throw up. She cried against the sink for what seemed like an eternity. Not only was she crying because of the rape, but he also came inside of her. She couldn't go get plan B by herself. She couldn't have Lana get it either. Lana could never find out. God she fucking cheated on her girlfriend. Was that cheating? Zoe didn't know and she didn't want to think about it.

 

She checked her phone for the time. 3:14 AM. Great. She couldn't call someone to come get her. It was late and they would ask her why she looked like such a wreck. She couldn't tell anyone, right? They'd just think she was this big slut. Honestly, she was starting to believe it. How could she be so fucking stupid to fucking get drunk and blackout at a random persons house party.

 

She walked out of the house and started heading towards the local bridge. On her way there these awful thoughts started going through her head.

 

‘Zoe you're fucking stupid if you think that was rape. You were the one who got drunk. You knew that could happen and you didn't do anything to prevent it. No one would believe you anyways. Why would they? I bet you're gonna have this big reputation as the class slut now. Good. You deserve it. Just go fucking kill yourself. No one would care anyways. You're a burden and no one wants to come save your stupid ass. Do it. You're at a bridge. Just fucking jump off’

 

She wrapped her leg around the side of the bridge and pulled herself up. She wondered how stupid she looked from another perspective. A girl with fucked up makeup, messy hair, and torn up clothes sitting alone at 3:37 am. She contemplated jumping for what seemed like an hour. She pulled her phone out to look at the texts from earlier. All from Jared. Asking if she was okay. Why she wasn't talking to them. Her finger hovered over the call button for a few seconds but she decided to hit it.

 

“Jesus Fucking Christ Zoe! You scared me shitless!! Where the fuck are you? Are you okay? Zoe? Hun- Zoe why are you crying” Jared asked.

 

“J-Jared please come get me. I- I'm at the St. Joseph bridge. I- I am so cold. And s-so broken, Jared. Its all m-my fault.

 

“Honey its going to be okay. Jared is here. Stay on the phone with me while I'm driving there. Okay? I love you so so much Zoe please just stay safe. We all care about you. Lana has been worried sick.”

 

Jared arrived minutes later, opening his arms so she could run into them. He whispered comforting things in her ear. He directed her to his car. He had a blanket, water, and an apple ready for her. She sat in his car covered in a blanket silently sobbing.

 

“Zoe. You- you gotta tell me what happened. It'll be okay. You can tell me anything. Jared is here” Jared said, worry taking over his face.

 

Jared listened as she told the whole story. He assured her it was not her fault and immediately took her to the nearest hospital for a rape kit. He called Alana and she showed up within minutes to comfort her. She made Zoe feel so loved. Alana had to leave early, but Jared stayed for the whole time she was stuck in the hospital.

 

Flashback over

 

Jared had saved her life and made her feel like she was worth something. There was no way in hell Zoe was gonna let him leave them. And lucky for her, she knows exactly where he was.

 

She immediately directed them to the old bridge. They sped their way there and when they arrived, Zoe determined she was going to save him before it was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so sad to write but I hope you guys love it. PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS. Seriously y'all I love reading them so much. I love the feedback please do it lmao.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm loving this!! I can't wait to update this story. Please leave comments telling me your opinions on this story!


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